i. mother

your mother misses you
sweet, cattle-fed skykisser
strong was the quietus
sharp, suffer-filled sentience
viscous, injured quanta
melt me in cruel spring

soothing, cool
long dark sloth
how you rust and rot
our momentos are
glorious daggers
dipped in grievous ecstasy

i am afraid
to smile without
i am ashamed
to laugh with your wraith
surely, this must be a lie
rewind the same heavenly phases
happy holiday tapes
i cannot erase

ii. lover i

i was down on my luck
i was all alone
i was shooting dope
in an abandoned home
then you came along
and opened my heart
you were like some
guardian angel
or some shit

iii. lover ii

when you left it was death
i could have been an excellent mother to your children
i would have shown them love too vast to be fathomed
but you cut your heart out for work and crafted a crude kevlar
and though it shielded you from panic
it leached your exuberance

hollow-hearted is not synonymous with resolve
sure you wear his flannel collars
but you don't wear
his character on your person
might as well be dead
i can't find him anywhere

i know i can be hyperbolic
i know i can bend the truth
to yield a quasi-homeric narrative
but with regards to our departure
i am innocent of such exaggerations
o! how i yearn for those weekend mornings
with well-rested tiredness
we'd fall into our wholesome cove
beneath silk sheets
our bodies gliding with ease
dancing on blue yarn quilts
brief, fractured utterances
would allow us to bask in communal absurdity
you were my world
and with a meager half smile
you would provide me with
impenetrable armor
and brilliant esteem
until one mooring
you vanished
and in your place
a frigid anchorite
rendering me
untouched